Youth's Lives Every Day
By: Jaymes Black, CEO, The Trevor Project
In 2008, at just seventeen years old, David Archuleta captured the hearts of more than 30 million viewers as the runner-up on season seven of American Idol. In the years that followed, he built a global music career – releasing eight studio albums, touring internationally, and becoming a fixture in pop culture. To many, he was the rising teen star with the angelic voice. What most people didn’t see was the quiet conflict he was carrying behind-the-scenes: a young man trying to reconcile faith, fame, and identity.
In his long-awaited memoir, Devout: Losing My Faith to Find Myself, David shares the story behind the spotlight. He writes about growing up in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, navigating fame under intense pressure, enduring emotional abuse, and the painful belief that his sexuality was something he could pray away. He opens up about experiencing suicidal thoughts and the pivotal moment on a helpline when he finally admitted he was struggling.
Today, David stands in a different place: not shame-driven, but liberated. Not trying to change himself, but fully embracing who he is. In our candid conversation, he reflects on why now was the right time to tell his story, and what he hopes LGBTQ+ young people take from it.
Jaymes: Congratulations on your new memoir! In Devout, you open up about your struggles with identity, faith, and fame. What made this feel like the right moment to share your story?
David: Thank you!! It took me a couple years to get my footing of what it meant to be out and how to verbalize that to others. I didn’t want to wait too long because I know how important this message is especially in the community I grew up with in Utah. I wanted to get that conversation going so that there’s more understanding and inclusion.
Jaymes: What was the writing process like for you, and how did you take care of your mental health while revisiting some of the most difficult chapters of your life?
David: It was tricky knowing how to start. It brought up a lot of childhood wounds going back into my past and telling the story in more detail. I realized there was a lot I hadn’t processed yet, and still viewed as if I were a kid when the moments happened. I took breaks during the writing days, a lot of breath work when some of the topics were anxiety inducing or troubling me, and even met with a psychologist near the end of my writing process when I started feeling a lot of intensive emotions resurfacing of not feeling good enough, not feeling worthy, etc. It was extremely helpful to see why those were still such deep beliefs I had inside and it was great to address them and shift my perspective.
Jaymes: In the book, you speak candidly about experiencing suicidal ideation when you felt trapped and alone. What advice would you offer to LGBTQ+ young people who may be facing similar thoughts?
David: I can’t express how important it is to talk to somebody. Sometimes it’s scary to open up to someone about things you feel so afraid of sharing and you may hold shame with. Sometimes you don’t know if you can trust anyone enough around you to open up to and talk to. That’s where helplines are so helpful. I was fortunate enough to talk to someone who happened to ask me the right question when I was online with my insurance company of all resources. I was calling them about something else and the woman asked specifically if I was struggling with suicidal thoughts. I never admitted it to myself until then when I responded to her. Because it was a confidential and safe phone call, and she assured me verbally that it was, I opened up to her simply by saying yes. I didn’t feel comfortable enough to elaborate on it but just having someone to talk to who was empathetic and nonjudgmental was a pivotal and turning point for me. It helped me feel seen, not alone, and know that I wasn’t a problem just because I existed. That’s why I love The Trevor Project. They have resources, they have chat options, and a hotline for people to talk to someone.
But, I would say don’t be afraid to talk to a friend, or a cousin, or someone you feel you can trust. As I started building courage, I started talking to friends and certain family members I could sense were a safe space to open up to.
Jaymes: You’ve said that coming out is “not just a choice.” Can you talk more about what you mean by that, and what you wish people better understood about the coming out process?
David: It was a choice to open up to people. It was a choice to show people who I was. It was a choice to take time to understand myself. And it was a choice to accept and embrace who I am. What I learned over time, is that it wasn’t a choice to be gay. To be bisexual. I was raised and taught that it was. So I thought it was a choice to be straight. I did everything in my power to choose to be heterosexual. It took me until I was 30 years old to learn that I wasn’t. And that I was bisexual. I don’t always like using that term because it sounds like it’s 50/50 and easy to just shut down your feelings for boys and go with a girl. So I’ve been using the identity as “queer” because it’s a more broad term and I feel like it leaves space for the fact that sexuality can be a spectrum. I can be primarily attracted to guys, and still occasionally attracted to women and not feel shame for that anymore.
Jaymes: As you’ve grown more comfortable living openly and honestly, fans have noticed a shift in your artistry. How would you say your music and performances have evolved as you’ve stepped into your most authentic self?
David: I feel like my music isn’t shame driven anymore. It isn’t focused on trying to change myself. It isn’t music where I am constantly expressing feeling inferior or embarrassed to simply be. I feel like I write from a place of liberation, and new-found confidence in who I am.
Jaymes: What do you hope readers – especially those navigating their own journey toward self-acceptance – take away from this book?
David: I hope that their takeaway is a greater motivation to be authentically themselves. To feel empowered to do so. To find the freedom in doing so. And to encourage others to do it as well.
Learn more by visiting David Archuleta’s website here.
